Nick Cave (Rolling Stone, August 1994)
I read Ham on Rye and it was so gross. Like, what a disgusting old man. Blegh.
i observe men in silence, how they leave plates on dining room tables, how they slam doors, how they take up whole couch with legs sprawled and lounging arms, how they do not filter speech, too confident, too loud. voices always violent, everything a war.
“Then I asked: Is this rape? One friend said, yes, it was. Another said she wasn’t sure. We talked about why and why not. Then we discussed why it was bad to discuss what the author could have done differently (“She’s probably already thought about it enough as is.” “It isn’t fair to do this because you never know how you might act in a situation like this— you may surprise yourself with how complicit you may be because your body and mind can shut down. “) We talked about why it was good to discuss what the author could have done differently (“It could give someone who finds themselves in a similar situation the tools to respond in a way that brings them to less harm.”) Then we talked about how terrible it was that ALL of us had something similar happen to us. At how sad it was that this scenario was commonplace. At how badly young people and older people needed to have a serious conversation about consent. Our opinions varied some, but as a whole we were coming from the same place. It was refreshing, and it made me feel a whole lot less confused about how this whole thing got started in the first place. But it made me a lot sadder to think about what this had spun into. People telling people how to feel. People bullying people online. People sticking up for one victim at the expense of another. People who want essentially the same thing attacking each other, telling people that they’re terrible, that they’re misogynists, bad feminists, rape sympathizers. Dozens of men — many of them my friends — being accused of being sexual predators or rapists, with the accusations oftentimes being based on little or nothing. Dozens of other men afraid that they would be accused of something, simply for having sex or making out or having e-flirtations with a female writer in the community. People delighting in the fall of other people, seemingly happy to exploit their status of victim in order to help out their “personal brand.” I don’t know what the solution is, all I know is this isn’t it.”
There is so much about this that rubs me the wrong way and I wanna know a few things:
“People delighting in the fall of other people, seemingly happy to exploit their status of victim in order to help out their “personal brand.”
^ What the actual hell does this mean? Because I guess unless you are some cool person in the know, it looks a lot of some skeevy-ass rape apologist bullshit, which even if I give you the benefit of the doubt and entertain the idea that you just mean a very specific person with a very specific provable agenda like this, it’s still hella irresponsible to just coyly post this shit in public where other rape and abuse survivors are gonna see it and in all likelihood it’s gonna smack them straight in their bruised parts both physical and mental so again I ask what the actual hell? Why would you just post hurtful shit like this?
- Discussing whether someone else’s situation is rape or not = gross and inappropriate, especially to (again) post about it publicly and try to frame it as some sort of empathic exercise between feminist-minded female friends, in what feminist universe is this kind of discussion OK??
- All this thought for women to “give women tools” to avoid rape and none about what these men are doing that’s fucked up and predatory?? Predators know all the right social cues and ways to trap you so that you can’t get free without causing harm to yourself (socially, literally, etc) so what exactly would you suggest we do? What is this “tool set” that will give us the magical power to detect lies and see past perfectly regular looking faces to the abuser within?
- If you know dozens of men who honestly cannot tell when a woman is consenting to any sort of activity, this doesn’t make anyone think “Hey maybe we need to have some discussions about dismantling assumptions we have about dating and sex and friendship between people, specifically within the gender binary heteronormative mainstream sphere?” or otherwise think something other than “Oh wow, it must be all these crazy ladies just throwing out accusations for fun or to “help out their personal brand(???)” and get the men in your life to really look at their own actions and dismantle their own internalized misogyny, big and small.
- After having a series of revelations in Alt Lit about predatory and inappropriate men in positions of power in your particular artist circle, worrying about false accusations is the thing troubling you the most????
You don’t just have a Missing Stair problem going on, you have a whole empty chasm where the staircase used to be, and you have an opportunity to clean house and have some serious necessary discussions about protecting people from predators, a problem that anyone in any writing or art circle knows about and we are all trying to find ways to deal with men in positions of power who are more than happy to abuse that power in order to get sex or just be able to act like a gross sleeze without being kicked out of the room. Do not waste this opportunity by letting yourself be suckered into repeating the same hurtful victim-blaming bullshit we see every time this topic comes up.
Check out this great speech from No One is Illegal member, Vincent Tao!
for those who requested i put this up, here’s my speech from today’s demo in solidarity w/ hong kong
feel free to use it/circulate it as you like
for some info on the “live-in rule” and the “2 week rule”:
• • •
Hey everyone, my name is Vincent Tao and I’m a member of No One Is Illegal Montreal.
I believe it should be our priority here to stand against the state’s brazen use of violent police force in response to this Monday’s protests in Hong Kong’s downtown core. While the HKP’s most recent display of state-sanctioned brutality is plainly appalling and should be condemned internationally, it is anything but “surprising” in this day and age — sadly, we have come to expect that when the people take to the streets and attempt to exercise their right to occupy public space in any given global financial hub, they will inevitably be met with the blunt end of a cop’s nightstick. From Montreal to Hong Kong, police forces around the world are charging ahead in a one-sided arms race with the people — while we pick up umbrellas and bottles, cops are brandishing bigger and better implements of war every day. So whether a protestor decides to break a window or pick up their garbage, we must denounce police brutality in any place and in any form — all police brutality is excessive.
I am the son of Hong Kongers — [I am a Hong Konger] — so I cannot begin to describe the complicated feelings of longing and belonging I felt when I first saw the images of Victoria Square filled with people my age marching for what they believe in. But when the deluge of Western media reports came pouring in, the message communicated in these images of people power became at once terribly distorted and painfully clear. From the Times to the Economist, Western media outlets are obsessed with the imagination of a “famously orderly” and clean Hong Kong, a postcard image of the prosperous global financial centre painted with a nostalgia for the city’s time under British colonial rule. At the same time that press releases recycle the age-old language of ‘yellow peril’, that ever-looming threat of an always backwards and fundamentally undemocratic China, reporters seek to perpetuate stereotypes of Occupy Central protesters as ‘model minorities’, an image strategically mobilized to shame the anti-authoritarian actions of our black and brown brothers and sisters in Ferguson and abroad.
So contrary to the notion that this is the first time in Hong Kong’s history that the “people are coordinating themselves with little direction from the government or institutions,” and with an exceptional air of middle-class decorum at that at that, we must be reminded that in May of 1967, the youth of my father’s generation set off bombs in the fight for decent working conditions and social planning initiatives from Hong Kong’s negligent colonial administration.
What must not be erased here is the long history of labour organizing, grass-roots mobilization, and protest in Hong Kong. But more importantly, I fear what else may be erased in our hasty celebration of the pro-democracy moment is the actual content of ‘democracy’. What is obscured in the flood of Getty images of youthful students peacefully marching in the streets is the fact that Hong Kong’s population of 7 million are not all bright-eyed MBA prospects and would-be hedge fund managers. In the reports of the protest streaming in as I speak, why is there no mention of the appalling income gap in Hong Kong, of how one in five of the island’s population are below the poverty line, of how suicide rates in the city’s poorer neighbourhoods are 3.5 times higher than they are in the adjacent financial districts? When the world measures Hong Kong’s so-called prosperity by its skyrocketing property prices, it is a sad inevitability that Occupy Central’s televised cry for democracy makes no mention of demands for public housing.
So let me ask you — just who is this ‘democracy’ for? Will universal suffrage be extended to the foreign domestic workers from Indonesia, the Phillipines, Nepal, Thailand, and Bangladesh that make up 10% of the island’s work force? When Leung Chun-ying is ousted as the city’s Chief Executive, will there be an end to Hong Kong’s “live-in rule” and “2 week rule” that force migrant women into a form of state-approved slavery? When Hong Kong achieves ’true democracy’, will there be justice for Erwania, the 23 year-old live-in domestic worker who was just one year ago found to be kept in a cage and tortured by her employers? When migrant workers must keep silence in the face of overwhelming rates of verbal, physical, and sexual abuse from the employers they must live with for fear of near-immediate deportation, how can we begin to talk about democracy?
So I urge you to ask yourselves, what is at stake in Hong Kong’s so-called pro-democracy movement, and just who does Occupy Central represent? Does universal suffrage for Hong Kong just mean universal suffrage for middle-class ‘Hong Kong Chinese’? It is my belief that democracy is bankrupt without justice and dignity for all peoples.
there’s always a white boy in every class that just talks and talks and talks like timothy stop just write it down!! make a mental note!!! wait till after class and tell ya friends on reddit!!
BREAKING: Peaceful Protesters In Ferguson MO Get Pummeled By Police Officers After Their Chief Marched With Protesters
- I think the #ferguson PD is aggressively attacking protestors because they assume @CNN @ABC @msnbc & @BarackObama no longer gives a damn
- Chief Jackson did this. His officers did this. Women were attacked. He said he was marching with us. Lies..he set us up #ferguson
- And Chief Jackson didn’t do ANYTHING to stop the attacks and mayhem. DID NOTHING! #Ferguson
- LOTS of cops out right now. A short clash with the police after arrests were made. Live Feed Here: http://argusnewsnow.com/live #Ferguson
Fuck the police. Seriously. All this to protect a murderer.
yall have been seent
Sophia Amoruso is the supposed #GIRLBOSS behind Nasty Gal, but she’s kinda not a feminist, a good writer, or a boss….at all.
We got drunk and reviewed her book. Watch and tell us what ya think.
LOL! Best book review.
boy toy named Troy used to live in Detroit
|—||Opinion: The white tourist’s burden: Growing Western demand for altruistic vacations is feeding the white-savior industrial complex (via aljazeeraamerica)|